I love the way you make me feel alive, more alive than when I read books. If you are looking for the best, most inspirational 'I love you' quotes so you can figure.
"How do I know when I'm really in love?"
"What does it mean to be in love?"
"I think I'm in love, but then I have doubts. If I have doubts, does that mean I'm not in love?"
"I feel in love, but why is this sometimes so hard?"
"I feel in love, but I've felt this way before and it didn't work out. How do I know?
Such a big question! And we all wish there was an easy answer -- a formula we could follow to determine if we are in love.
I don't exactly have a formula for you, but I do have a list of things to watch for that may be of help to you.
Before I get into what determines whether or not you are in love, let's differentiate between being in love and being infatuated.
Being infatuated comes from a completely different place within than being in love. Being infatuated comes from the same place as other addictions -- from the ego-wounded self. The ego-wounded self is needy and empty within, and wants to get filled externally by another through sex, attention and approval. When infatuated, you experience the kind of euphoria that you might experience with a recreational drug. There is an intensity of sexual lust and a sense of urgency to be with the other person. Unless love enters the experience, it is short-lived.
You are in your wounded self, feeling needy and empty, when you are rejecting and abandoning yourself -- looking for another to care for you. Your self-rejection/self-abandonment is what creates the inner neediness and emptiness that leads to the urgency -- and sometimes desperation -- of infatuation.
1. You are operating as a loving adult, not as your ego-wounded self.
Being in love comes from a full, secure, inwardly-connected place within -- a loving, adult place. In order to feel full, secure and inwardly connected, you need to be taking responsibility for your own feelings rather than rejecting and abandoning yourself. You cannot truly love another when you don't accept and love yourself. Not loving yourself leads to neediness rather than security, which then leads to infatuation, not love. If your sense of security is dependent on the other person, then you are in need rather than in love.
2. You see, value and deeply connect with the essence of the other person.
Being in love is about deeply valuing and connecting with who the other person really is -- not just how they look or what they do for you. In order to see, value and connect with the true essence of another, you need to be able to see, value and connect with your own true essence. In order for you to do this, you will have had to do your own inner work to learn to love and value your own true self.
3. Your physical attraction to them is more than skin deep.
Sexual chemistry is a mysterious thing. While it may start based on how a person looks or from your feelings of lust for the person, over time it evolves into a deeper valuing of who the person is and a desire to share your love with them in a loving and passionate physical way. You love to be next to them. Their energy feels great to you, as does their touch. Making love with your beloved is not just a satisfying physical experience. It is also a deeply satisfying emotional and spiritual experience.
4. You receive deep joy in giving to your beloved.
You have allowed your beloved to matter to you, so your beloved's happiness is important to you. Rather than feeling put upon when your partner needs something from you, you receive joy in being able to give to and support your partner in many ways. You receive joy from their joy and pain from their pain, while not making them responsible for your pain and joy. You are empathic and compassionate with them without losing your sense of self. You deeply desire to support both your own highest good and your partner's highest good. You want the very best for both of you.
5. Along with the physical spark, connection and flow, there is an emotional spark, connection and flow.
You love spending time with your beloved, just being together, talking and sharing yourselves with each other. Conversation flows easily between you, and you are also very comfortable being silent with each other. There is a warm flow of energy between you even when you are doing different things in the same room. You can feel connected with each other even from a distance.
6. You are committed to working through conflict in loving ways.
Rather than seeing conflict as a deal-breaker or as something to be avoided, you see conflict as an opportunity to learn and grow together. Rather than fearing losing yourself in a conflict -- or feeling that you have to be right and win -- you feel open and curious to learning about your beloved's way of seeing things. You feel a deep commitment to working through the hard times. You have no desire to give up on the relationship.
7. You laugh and have fun with each other.
You and your beloved enjoy playing together. Laughter flows easily between you. At times, you find each other fun and funny. You appreciate your beloved's sense of humor and you feel on the same page regarding what tickles you.
8. You feel safe to share your deepest self with your beloved.
You are not walking on eggshells, trying to avoid your partner's judgment. You know you can mess up without losing your partner's love and caring. You feel safe to share your fears and hurts with your partner -- even when they are about your partner -- and you are empathically and compassionately available to be there for your partner's fears and hurts, even when they are about you. You feel accepting of your beloved's challenges. Opening to each other on ever-deeper levels creates a deep level of physical and emotional intimacy.
9. You don't expect to be on cloud nine all the time.
You know you love your partner, even when you don't feel "in love." In fact, you don't expect to feel in love all the time. You know that in loving relationships, you move close and then move away, and then move close and then away, like the tide. You accept that this is the natural rhythm of a loving relationship and don't doubt your love during the more distant times.
10. You don't keep thinking that there is someone better out there.
Because you feel a deep soul connection with your partner, you have no desire to wander. You know that while there may be many wonderful people out there, this is the person you want to be with. This is the person you want to journey with toward learning to love yourself and love him or her on ever-deeper levels.
Some of you may have other ideas of what lets you know you are in love. I'd love to hear them.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a relationship expert, best-selling author, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah. To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" - the first two weeks are free! Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.
Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.
For more by Margaret Paul, Ph.D., click here.
For more on love, click here.
Knowing you're in love feels different for everyone. Some have been in love often and know the feeling well, and others may be not so sure if.
1Dealing with Your Emotions
Consider talking to a therapist if your obsession seems unhealthy. If you reach a point where you are having trouble functioning in your daily life, you may need to seek professional help. Consider talking to a mental health professional if you feel like you are developing an unhealthy obsession with the person.
2Interacting with the Person You Love
Play it cool. If you are not yet in a relationship with the person you love, try not to let on that you are interested in anything more than friendship at first. Treat the person like a friend and don’t flirt too much when you are first getting to know each other. If you come on too strong in the beginning, the person may feel pressured and avoid being around you.
Give the person space. You may be tempted to spend every waking moment with your new love, but don’t. It is necessary for both of you to have space and to keep living your lives. If you fail to keep other commitments to spend time with your new love, you may end up damaging your other relationships and your new love may not find this behavior attractive.
Move on if the person does not feel the same way about you. Sometimes love is just not meant to be. If you have been pursuing someone for a while and they don’t seem to respond to your advances, don’t waste any more time on the person. It may be that they are not interested or just not ready for a relationship. Put your time and energy into someone who reciprocates your feelings.
How do I deal with falling in love if my partner doesn't want a relationship?
If they don't want a relationship, then they're not really your partner. I would strongly suggest simply moving on now before your feelings get more entangled with this person. Maybe things will be different in the future, but right now the two of you are incompatible.
How do I tell someone I like them without hesitating?
Sometimes it is extremely difficult to grasp the idea of actually going up to someone and telling them your true feelings, especially if they've been there for some time. I would suggest pushing through any fears or negative/last minute thoughts- and do it before it is too late.
What should I do if my boyfriend is scared to tell me that he loves me?
If you're confident that he does, then just say it to him first. You saying it will give him the courage to open up.
How do I tell someone that I love them when they're not interested in me?
You could just say something like, "I know you're not interested in me romantically, but I need to tell you that I love you. I don't expect anything from you, I just had to get that off my chest." Of course, you should personalize the conversation so that it suits your situation. Just don't get your hopes up if you already know they don't like you back.
Ask a Question
If you’re searching for how to make a man fall in love with you, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you might be on your way to falling in love with him.
Am I right?
You’re falling fast for this guy, and you can only hope that he feels the same, but how can you ensure that he is?
In this article, you’re not going to find a bunch of ways to trick a man into falling in love with you. That’s not how I operate. What you will find are strategies for how to make a man fall in love with you that I have seen work firsthand.
If you’re here for the first time, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Adam LoDolce, and I have helped thousands of women find true love. I’ve worked as a dating coach for both men and women, and I’ve spoken at dozens of universities, where every single person in the audience walked away with tangible advice they could apply to dating and relationships.
So, yea, I kinda know what I’m talking about.
But don’t take it from me! Test out as many of the following strategies as you’d like and see if they work for you in learning how to make a man fall in love with you.
Before we get started, let me just say something about patience. If you have fallen for this guy, I understand that you’re in a vulnerable place while you wait for him to catch up with you. Does he love you? Does he love you not? You’ll do anything in your power to make him love you.
But pump the breaks a bit because if you rush things, you may blow it. Love takes time, and it comes to everyone at a different tempo.
And sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. Don’t blame yourself. If he doesn’t fall in love with you, it wasn’t meant to be. I bet if you step away, you’ll see a million reasons why that’s true.
But give him time. All his past relationship experiences, along with his personality, will impact how long it takes him. If you truly love him, you’ll wait.
Just like with all my dating and relationship advice, some of these tips on how to make a man fall in love with you may work better for you than others. You know yourself and what comes naturally, so apply the tips that make the most sense.
Look, I know you’re an independent woman that doesn’t need a man, but the truth is…men like to feel needed. Chalk it up to our evolutionary past of being the provider and protector in the relationship. Sure, you can kill your own spiders and change your own tire, but that doesn’t mean you have to.
If you’ve been single for a while and have become accustomed to doing everything that needs doing, this may take a little practice and letting go, but the next time you have something that you know your man would excel at, ask for help.
That’s all. Just ask for help.
Not only will you give him purpose (after all, he’s trying to win your heart too, so doing something for you is huge), but you’ll also see how nice it is to lean on someone else, to rely on him to help you. It takes the load off of you for sure.
I know if you’re falling for this guy, you want to spend every waking moment with him. And maybe he wants that too. But let’s ease into that 24/7 type of relationship, shall we? Or better yet…never get to it.
Having time apart is healthy for couples. It gives you each time to do things on your own or spend time with friends (don’t be that chick who abandons her friends whenever she’s in a relationship). It gives you something to talk about when you are together. Having time apart provides balance in the relationship, and it gives you both the opportunity to miss one another.
When he misses you, he thinks about you. He thinks about his feelings for you. All good things!
Okay, to be clear, I am not suggesting you kiss this guy’s ass all the time.
“Oh Bobby! That shirt looks amaaazing on you.”
“Oh Bobby! You’re so strong!”
“Oh Bobby! I don’t know what I’d do without you!”
Not what we’re going for. What I do want you to do is be free with the compliments. If you’re thinking in your head that he looks hot in that shirt, tell him! I’m not sure why it is, but most of us don’t compliment other people far enough, even when we’re thinking complimentary things.
But think about how awesome you feel when someone compliments you. Why wouldn’t you want to make the guy you care so much about feel that great? So whenever something positive sprouts up in your brain about how he looks, something witty he says, or something he’s done, let him know you appreciate it.
I’ve heard some so-called dating gurus tell women to dumb down their intellect or put a damper on their exuberant personalities. This is utter crap. If you do that, then the guy has one impression of who you are that is entirely inaccurate. Once you get to know each other and you start being real, he might be thrown off when he discovers that, whoa, you’re actually intelligent or opinionated.
The right guy will love you for who you are.
That’s right. No need to pretend your IQ isn’t off the charts, or that you’re not a control freak. Let your control or otherwise freak flag fly. That way, he knows exactly what he’s getting into from the start. If he’s into it? Great. He’ll be that much more likely to fall in love with you.
Just like men like to be needed, they also like it when you admire how masculine they are. But again, I’m not saying you need to squeeze his muscles and faint every time you see him!
Masculinity isn’t just about testosterone and muscles. It’s about treating people well, being chivalrous, and acting with honor. Like the Norman Mailer quote above says.
Real masculinity is being vulnerable and empathetic. It’s being a good partner. So whatever it means to you, let him know that you admire these qualities. If nothing else, it will start an interesting dialogue on what it means to be a man in this day and age.
I talked about the importance of being patient as part of the process of learning how to make a man fall in love with you, but I can’t say enough about it.
If you feel like you’ll explode if you don’t profess your love for him, heed this advice. Tell a friend how you feel. She’ll support you but also help you analyze whether your lovegush will be reciprocated or not. If she doesn’t feel like he’s exhibiting the signs of being in love with you yet, she’ll tell you and you can save yourself from the embarrassment of a one-sided love profession (the worst!).
I’m not saying the man always has to be the one to say “I love you” first, but you do want to give him time to process his feelings on the subject. Just think how much better it would be if, when the pronouncement does happen, regardless of who says it first, you both say it.
If you rush this, you may be disappointed. Keep that in mind.
If you’re still desperate to let someone know, journal about it. This will help you process your feelings. And it never hurts to sit on them for a while. In the early stages of a relationship, it can sometimes be difficult to discern between love and lust, so by giving your love time to marinate, you can be 100% sure that it is love before you make yourself vulnerable.
I know in the early days of dating a new guy, you might try to have a poker face. After all, you aren’t sure if this is going to turn into a relationship, so you might be hesitant to tell him that you’re thinking of him.
Well, the rules have changed now that things are progressing, and it’s actually in your favor to tell him he’s on your mind. Just like with compliments, if you like it, he will too. You blush from your head to your toe whenever he tells you that he’s thinking of you, so why not reciprocate? Here are a few texts you could send to make him smile.
Saw a corgi today [his favorite dog] and it made me think of you!
Sigh. I can’t get any work done today. Just keep replaying our last date…
Just wanted to say hi, since you’re on my mind!
None of these are overboard. They’re just little pings to tell him that you’re thinking about him. They’ll make him smile, I guarantee!
Look, you don’t have to suddenly feign an interest in disc golf, rock climbing, or fishing if you’re not already into them, but if your guy has hobbies or interests, one way to successfully learn how to make a man fall in love with you is to be supportive.
If he goes on a fishing trip, ask what he caught. If he’s going to the rock climbing gym, ask how his workout went. You’re not pretending you’re all about these interests; you’re just showing that you respect that he’s got things he’s into, and you’re inquiring about them.
A scientific study showed that people like people who ask questions, particularly followup questions. Followup questions show that you’re paying attention and that you’re genuinely interested. So don’t stop with simply asking him how that fishing trip went. If he tells you that he caught a tuna, ask him what fresh tuna tastes like. Ask who he went fishing with. Ask what kind of bait he uses. Especially if you don’t know a lot about his hobby, he’d be happy to teach you if you’re express curiosity.
Likewise, be supportive of what he’s doing. If you know he’s got a job interview this week, send a text beforehand letting him know you’re rooting for him, then check in with him after to see how it went. One of the foundations of a loving relationship is support; when you show your partner that you’re there for him as his biggest cheerleader, he feels great. And when you support him, you’re starting to glom onto how to make a man fall in love with you.
I totally love Chip…except his excessive drinking habit.
He’s completely right for me…if only he didn’t yell at waiters when they get his order wrong.
Sure, you’re going to have a few things that might get on your nerves with this guy, but they shouldn’t be dealbreakers. You can’t think that down the road you will break him of whatever annoying habit he’s got. You can never, ever change a man. Seriously.
If there are issues big enough to make you hesitate when you think about a future with this guy, he’s not right for you. Let him go. You’ll be better off in the long run.
Men who are with women who constantly make suggestions for how they could be better tend to close off from them. So pay attention to what you’re saying to him. If you’re sending him a constant barrage of “you should…” messaging, pull back, or you’ll lose him. Instead, embrace him with all his quirks. He’ll do the same with you.
While it’s easy to talk, it’s a lot harder to listen…I mean really listen. Not half listening to your guy on the phone while you paint your toenails and browse social media.
When you put all your energy into hearing what he’s saying, you are actually listening on two levels: on the first, you’re hearing his words, but you’re also taking in what he’s communicating nonverbally. And since 60-80% of our communication is nonverbal, this is incredibly important to pick up on, especially if you want to learn how to make a man fall in love with you madly.
When he says his day is “fine,” what is his body language saying? Is he nervously fidgeting? If so, he may want to go more into his day but wants you to ask more questions. Is he sad when he talks? Dive into why with more followup. Repeat what you understand him to have said to show that you’re paying attention.
Here’s another one of those tips for how to make a man fall in love with you that falls under that whole “do unto others” thing. Think about how you feel when your man brings your favorite grande quadruple shot coconut milk latte on your coffee break at work. That little gesture shows you that he cares for and appreciates you.
What can you do to show that you appreciate him?
Think about ways you can make his life easier. Maybe he’s super busy, so you pick up his dry cleaning or walk his dog.
Maybe he’s been stressed lately, so you fill the bedroom with candles and treat him to an hour-long massage.
Find ways to make him smile.
Stick a love note in his laptop bag. Bring him breakfast in bed.
Tell him thank you for no reason other than for him being his wonderful self. The more you show your appreciation, the more he’ll feel your love…and start to feel his own for you.
Sara scowls whenever her boyfriend Tyrone tells a joke at a party. She feels he’s trying to get too much attention for himself. Tyrone is crushed that she doesn’t think he’s funny.
Lindsay laughs so hard at Scott’s jokes that milk shoots out of her nose. She’s always introducing him as her “hilarious boyfriend.”
Which guy do you think is more likely to fall in love?
I’m not suggesting you fake laugh at all of his jokes. But if he’s funny, let him make you laugh. Having a similar sense of humor is important for a long-lasting and loving relationship. If you love that he guffaws at every one of your “that’s what she said” jokes, then reciprocate when he tells a knock-knock joke.
I know that trust doesn’t come easily if you’ve been hurt in the past. But please realize that this guy isn’t that guy. And if you want this relationship to work out, you’re going to have to trust him at some point.
Certainly, if he’s exhibiting signs that he shouldn’t be trusted, don’t ignore those. But if he’s done everything right, then let those walls around your heart down a tad.
So how do you trust him? Stop assuming you’re the only one who can do something right. Let’s say you normally do the planning for road trips, and you have one coming up with your guy. Rather than taking control, if he’s offering, put him in charge of planning it.
So what if you take a 3-hour detour to see a llama farm? The experience will be memorable. Don’t view the trip through the lens of what you would have planned but just enjoy that he put in the effort to do something for the two of you.
If the issue is him being around other women, especially if you’ve been cheated on, communicate your feelings of insecurity rather than jumping down his throat about hanging out with an old female friend from high school. Let him know that because of past experiences, it’s not easy for you to not worry about that situation. He’ll reassure you that he’s only got eyes for you, and you have to believe him rather than telling yourself that this will be another guy to hurt you.
If you have love, you have trust. You can’t have one without the other.
I have had a lot of female relationship coaching clients who, in their 20s and in their first serious relationship, pretty much gave up all friendships and interests for a guy. It wasn’t like he asked her to do it, but it’s a common thing. And when you get older, this pattern continues. If this describes you, it’s important to understand that one of the best ways to discover how to make a man fall in love with you is to be independent and keep on doing the things you love with the people you care about.
Who would you be more attracted to, a man who stopped his weekly soccer games with his buddies so he could spend every day with you…
Or the guy who kisses you before he goes to soccer practice, texts you that he’s going out for a beer afterward, and then comes back afterward to see you because he misses you?
Like I said in #2: having a little space in your relationship is healthy. And so is having things that you do on your own. Even if you just want to spend all Saturday afternoon reading by yourself, if that’s what nurtures you, that’s what’s right for the relationship. The right guy won’t have any problem with that, and in fact will be glad that you’re so independent.
Independence also means not overly relying on him. If you whine every time your grass gets tall, wanting him to do it, you’ll annoy him. There’s no reason you can’t get the mower out and mow your own grass, is there??
There is nothing hotter than a smart woman with an opinion. I don’t care if the media tells you otherwise; we dig it. So feel free to bring up a news article you read today to get his insight. Don’t be shy about expressing an opposing opinion. Find topics that the two of you thrive on discussing. Maybe take turns picking the subject.
Relationships can get stale when there’s no new air. Keep things constantly fresh by engaging in those intellectual conversations.
Again, I’ve seen dating coaches tell women to be more demure, more…soft. They tell you to agree with him. Let him make the decisions. After all, he is a MAN!
That’s bulls#^&. A man does not want a yes woman. He wants you.
So if he says he wants to see the latest bloody thriller and you hate gore, tell him. Compromise with a superhero flick.
If he says something you don’t agree with, tell him. No one said you have to have the same opinion as the man you love. If you don’t, the conversation is so much more interesting (see #15).
Pushing back is not arguing. It’s simply letting him know that you have an opinion that deserves to be honored.
If, when you started dating, you always waited for him to initiate the texting, it’s time to change up your strategy. Nobody likes to be the only one who texts first, so make things more even by you starting half of the conversations.
They don’t even have to be conversations. A quick “Hey cutie. Thinking of you!” is enough to make him feel special and get your point across.
You might fall in love fast. He might be slow. But once you’re there, if you use these strategies for how to make a man fall in love with you, you might speed up the process for him. I’m not suggesting you do anything other than be authentic, but do be aware of how you can communicate how much he means to you, even if you’re not yet saying those three little words.
If you’ve been in a long-term relationship before, think back and ask yourself whether you did all of these tips. I’m betting not. Maybe you never thought to compliment him or appreciate his manliness. Now’s your chance to try these out with a new guy — possibly the right guy — and see what kind of wonderful results they get.
What are your tips on how to make a man fall in love with you? Share them in the comments below so other Sexy Confident members can take notes!
Commitment is part of how to get a man to fall in love with you. Check out my Casual to Committed webinar, and I guarantee you’ll be on the right path to true love!
That's why it's no surprise songs about love are so common. When you meet I' m alone with you. You make me feel like I am whole again".
You’re not in love, right?
After all, you know the signs that mean you’re in love with him. Whether you’ve been in love before or not, you’d be able to tell whether you were in love.
Unless you’re afraid you might be in love with the wrong person.
Unless you don’t know how he feels about you.
Unless he’s in a relationship or terrified of commitment and loving him would be a waste of time.
Unless you’re sure you’re not in love with him…
Unless you do not want to be in love right now and love is not in the cards for you at this moment and you have no intention of being in love because you’re just not …
When you take the time to think about it, are you sure?
Even if you’ve never said the “l-word” to him, even if you’re not even together, even if you’ve sworn you would never fall in love with him… there’s a chance you might have gone and fallen in love anyway.
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Are You In Love” Quiz right now and find out if you’re really in love with him…
Love is strange. It’s wild, uncontrollable, and can happen totally by accident when you least expect it. If you read anything on this list and think, “Hmmm, weird…” I hate to break it to you, but you might be in love.
Are you truly ready for love? Take this quiz and find out: Are You Ready for Love Quiz
And no, I’m not talking about Candy Crush.
MORE: The five stages of LOVE – from first date butterflies to long-term stability
Maybe you’re checking to make sure you still have service. Or that your volume is still on. Or that you haven’t missed any calls.
Or that you haven’t missed any texts… from him…
If you’re glancing at your phone all the time, if the sound of your phone going off sends a tingle down your spine and has you lunging for your purse… we might be talking about love.
MORE: You’re Driving Me Crazy! How small irritants become big issues—and what to do about them
Whether you’re walking around, see a Starbucks and wish he was there with you…
Or you’re shopping around at Bed, Bath & Beyond and can’t help but wish he was there choosing random pillows…
No matter what, everywhere you go, you think of him. It’s a strange feeling you can’t help. He just pops into your head at the most random times.
MORE: 13 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love, According To Science
If it means being able to spend more time with him, you’ll sacrifice a lot.
You’ll drive an hour out of your way just to see him. Or you’ll change around your entire schedule just so you can find 30 minutes to have coffee with him.
MORE: 10 Signs You Know It’s Really Love
And most importantly – you don’t mind at all. It doesn’t even seem like a pain to reshuffle your whole life to carve out an hour to spend with him. You don’t even think about it – you’re just happy to do it.
Are you meant to be together? Take thisquiz and find out.
You can’t help it. Someone says or does something that reminds you of him and before you even realize it you’re talking about him.
It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to. You could be talking to the lady who does your hair, or your mom, or the cashier at the grocery store and he’ll still come up in conversation.
MORE: Lost Love: Three Ways to Get Over Your Ex
Most importantly, you can’t stop bringing him up around your friends. If they’re tired of hearing about him, that’s a dead giveaway that you’re “guilty” of this sign…
This is an undeniable one.
You keep the entire texting conversation you have with him. When he sends you a text, you often smile and read it a couple times just for good measure.
MORE: How to Know if You’re in Love
Feeling down? All you have to do is re-read the conversation you had with him a few days ago to put a smile on your face.
Even if you’re someone that regularly deletes your emails and texts, with this guy, you’re the total opposite. The reason? Because his texts literally brighten your day and make you smile from ear to ear.
Ever get a short text from him that sends a jolt of excitement through you and puts a smile on your face for the rest of the day? Does your heart skip a beat if he calls you just to say hi or to talk about anything for a couple minutes?
MORE: 5 Communication Tips for Romantic Relationships
Any tiny interaction, even if he isn’t saying something romantic, makes your whole day. And it can leave you smiling inside for hours after.
Do you know if you’re in the right relationship? Find out here.
What’d you do yesterday?
Ugh, nothing. Just hung out on the couch watched Netflix and ate pizza. I totally wasted my day.
MORE: Truly, madly, deeply: How love makes you sick
Now, change one thing about that scenario:
What’d you do yesterday?
It was GREAT! I hung out with ____, watched Netflix on the couch and ate pizza. What a great day.
Yup. Time “wasted” with him doesn’t feel wasted at all.
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You literally can’t help but be interested in every little detail about him.
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It’s crazy, but everything from his random stamp collection to his boy scout medals as a little kid to his stories about his crazy first job make you smile inside.
When he tells you stories about his life and how he is as a person, you find yourself hooked on every word he says.
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You know the feeling of getting butterflies in your stomach when you think about a guy?
Wait, before you get mad at me, I’m not saying YOU get butterflies when you think about him. I’m just asking you if you know the feeling.
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Butterflies are a super common and easy way to tell if you’re in love – in other words, it doesn’t belong on this list.
But just because you don’t CALL them butterflies doesn’t mean you’re not feeling them. If you’ve been feeling a lot less hungry lately and you don’t know why, it might be because you’re in love… and the “not butterflies” in your stomach are going crazy.
You could spend hours and hours talking on the phone to him or cuddling up together watching movies all day, but it wouldn’t matter. At the end of the day, it still only feels like you spent brief moments with him.
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Even if you spent all weekend together, you’d still have trouble saying goodbye. It always feels like “it’s never enough.”
Sometimes, he says things that just drive you CRAZY. Every time he does something dumb it makes you want to grab his head and shake it until all the dumb falls out.
He pushes your buttons in ways that no one else ever could, and it makes you want to scream in frustration. How could he spark something this intense in you?
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The answer to that question lies in this piece of wisdom: The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.
As you go through your day, you feel more alive and energetic, as if you have a constant adrenaline rush going through you.
You feel more productive, like you can take on the world every single day. And you’re not on drugs. Well, you’re probably not on drugs. You’re not on drugs, right?
This weird, natural energy boost that lifts your mood and gets you excited through the day… where did it come from? It’s a crazy experience, it actually feels like you’re high on life.
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Could it have come from… him?
So you know how your BFF’s job is basically to rag on the guy you like, right? Well, maybe normally it wouldn’t bug you and might even be comforting to hear, but in this case, it’s the complete opposite.
You have an instinctual need to protect him if she dares say anything even remotely rude about him. Even if she’s not saying something that bad, her not being super appreciative of his amazing nature is enough to spark a bit of fury in you.
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It doesn’t matter what the topic is, you’re just delighted to be having a conversation with him about anything.
Even the most random, uneventful stuff (like the weather or the news) becomes exciting, engaging and fun. You can even talk about stuff you don’t care about at ALL (like his fantasy football league that you’re not even in) and it still feels like you’re having the most interesting conversation in the world.
(Seriously, dudes, unless we’re in love with you, or IN it, we don’t care about your fantasy football league.)
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So you might have had an obsession with your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart and cheated on you with his ex-girlfriend (or whatever he did).
You might have missed him or completely hated his guts with a burning passion that could light a thousand suns. You might have gone weeks where every morning you wake up and your first thought is wondering whether you could fit him inside a blender.
And now? You actually pretty much don’t care anymore. You don’t fixate on your anger for the guy who screwed you over. You almost feel a sense of indifference.
It’s a crazy experience. You never thought you’d see the day where he’s truly gone from your thoughts, but now he is… because someone else has taken over your thoughts.
Does he have to go to the super market because he’s out of eggs? Sounds like fun! He needs to stop at CVS to pick up razors? Sign me up!
No matter how boring it is or how much you’d normally hate it (errands, ugh), you’d never turn down the chance to do it with him.
And I do mean anything. You’re totally comfortable around him.
You can pee with the door open without feeling weird. You tell him about a gross zit you popped the other day, he laughs and pretends to be grossed out.
And when you have something serious to talk about with him, you know he would give you his full undivided attention about anything… just like you would for him.
So you’re at work and supposed to be doing some kind of spreadsheet or paperwork or training the new killer whale at the park to jump through a hoop, and what are you doing instead? You’re daydreaming about him.
Or if you’re around family and friends, your mind is elsewhere. You’re just not present in the moment with them, because you’re thinking of him.
You can’t even help it, it’s like you’re in this beautiful daydream where it’s just you and him in the world. You feel like you’re in a small world built for two, a world only you and him could ever possibly understand.
You might even be dodging your responsibilities in lieu of an all-day text or email chain with him. And when you’re not writing, you’re sitting there obsessively checking your phone or refreshing your email waiting for the second he writes back.
All of a sudden you feel giddy and lighthearted for no apparent reason at all. Things that might have annoyed you or brought your mood down before don’t seem to bother you at all now.
It’s like you’re a different person. It’s as if there’s a ray of sunshine splashing across your face. And the best part is the smile on your face comes from a place within. It’s a specific kind of happiness you’ve never experienced before. And it’s beautiful. You can’t even help it.
Ryan Gossling? George Clooney? Brad Pitt?
He is enough. You can see your favorite actor and not even have the same heart-stopping reaction you would have before.
And if you even think of being with another guy, it doesn’t really appeal to you the same way it used to. You don’t feel any kind of intense attraction to them anymore.
All you want is him.
Quick: What’s his favorite song? Or his favorite movie? Or his favorite color?
Did you just rattle off the answer?
If he mentions specific, random things he likes you can’t help but take notice. Subconsciously or not, you want to know how to make him happy.
You remember the first time you met him. The first time you kissed. Or you might even have the ticket stub from your first date.
Whatever it is, little moments with him become special, cherished memories. And you remember every detail.
Deep down, you know in your heart that if he wanted to hurt you, he’d be able to completely destroy you. You might not want to admit it, but he could break your heart so badly it’d bring you to your knees in pain and send tears streaming down your red blotchy face.
If he tries to show you his emotional side, you might try to act like it’s too much too soon but secretly, deep down, you love every second of it.
If you’re really honest with yourself, you’re terrified of where this could possibly lead with him, and yet you can’t help but want to take things further.
And you know that if tomorrow you woke up and weren’t afraid of what the future with him could mean, you would miss it more than anything.
Remember, a lot of the time, the biggest obstacle to love is denial . It’s scary to realize you’re in love, and it’s really easy to say, “Nope, not me, I’m not in love with him, nooooope .”
But if you read this list, and realized that a bunch of these signs apply to you…
Well then I hate to break it to you sister, but you’re in love.
Want to find out if you’re really in love?Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Are You In Love” Quiz right now and find out if you’re *really* in love with him…
Are You In Love?Take the Quiz
Is there really a difference between being in love and falling in love? Studies prove It's a feeling so magical that literally makes you beam like a bright light.