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Ive fallen in love
September 08, 2018 Anniversary Wishes No comments

As Ewan McGregor once proclaimed from the streets of Paris, The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return. Sure, this.

Falling Out of Love

When love starts to fade, before we even face the potential loss of the person we’re with or the relationship we’re in, many of us mourn the loss of something inside us. Falling out of love is like losing a part of ourselves that was once illuminated. It’s one of the most painful processes to endure. Not only are we losing something valuable, we are also caught up in the mystery surrounding that loss. The period in which we realize that our feelings have changed tends to be riddled with confusion. What happened to that excitement and admiration that once made us come alive? According to many experts who’ve studied relationships, this mystery is something worth exploring when we feel ourselves falling out of love.

Before diving further into the subject of why we fall out of love and what we can do to make sense of these feelings, it’s important to note that many of the reasons we fall out of love are valid. Of course, when some relationships end, it’s for the best. There are real reasons people find themselves unhappy and wanting to move on. Some people change in real ways that make them grow apart. Others get to know themselves better and realize they were never really in love but in fantasy. No one should ever force themselves to stay in any situation in which they feel miserable and less like themselves.

However, when we talk about why so many people experience falling out of love with someone who once lit them up and filled them with joy, we have to question what goes on that creates this shift. Do we fall out of love for the right reasons? Is it possible to stay in love for the long-haul or fall back in love after falling out of it? You may be surprised that the overwhelming answer for many in the scientific community is YES.  Real, lasting love is possible. However, it involves some effort, avoidance of certain relationship trappings, and a willingness to overcome some of our own defenses and fears.

Because we bring so much to the table when it comes to our relationships and our feelings about those relationships, it’s valuable to practice self-reflection and look inward to help explore the question of where did our love go. Many of us question our relationship when our feelings start to fade. It’s necessary to make sense of these feelings. We must be sure that, if we leave, we know it’s for the right reasons, and if we stay, we’re doing all we can to feel the most alive and in love. To understand our own experience of falling out of love, we should consider three things:

  1. Why am I falling out of love?
  2. What are the signs that I’ve fallen out of love?
  3. Is it possible/worthwhile to reconnect with my feelings and fall back in love?

Why Are You Falling Out of Love?

As I said, one of the most challenging mysteries we encounter in life is where all those feelings go when we fall out of love. There are many reasons relationships change for the worse, but what’s perhaps most valuable to consider is our own struggles surrounding love and intimacy. After conducting a 75-year longitudinal study from Harvard University, researcher George Vaillant and his team concluded that the keys to happiness were 1. Love, and 2. “finding a way of coping with lifethat does notpush love away.” Lasting love is possible, but it isn’t always easy.

“Almost every one of us struggles, to some degree, to stay connected to our loving feelings,” said Dr. Lisa Firestone, co-author of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships. “Early experiences of feeling hurt or rejected can injure our ability to connect with and sustain our loving feelings. Giving and receiving love actually challenges our core defenses, early adaptations we formed to protect ourselves against the ways we were hurt.”

While none of us choose to fall out of love, many of us are unaware of the defenses we’ve formed and adaptations we’ve made that may now limit us in our ability to stay close and connected to our partner. For example, it may be hard to stay connected and trust someone completely when we grew up feeling insecure and neglected. It can be difficult to be vulnerable and consistently kind when we grew up with people who were cold, punishing, or had their own difficulty giving and receiving love.

Our unique upbringings and early attachment styles come to influence our defenses and behavior patterns. They can also create insecurities and fears about love. “Interpersonal relationships are the ultimate source of happiness or misery,” wrote Dr. Robert Firestone, author of Fear of Intimacy. “Love has the potential to generate intense pleasure and fulfillment or produce considerable pain and suffering.”  When we fall out love, we may, in some ways, be falling into this fear.

How can you tell whether you’re really falling out of love or just giving into fear?

Contrary to what one might assume, our fears around intimacy tend to get bigger as we get closer to another person. Therefore, we may allow ourselves to fall in love at first but become scared when the relationship deepens or becomes more “serious.”  “Love—kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship—is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate… They often find it difficult to accept being loved and acknowledged for who they really are,” said Dr. Robert Firestone. “Many people are unaware that being loved or especially valued makes them feel angry and withholding.”

In their research, Drs. Robert and Lisa Firestone, have listed common psychological reasons that love scares us without us being fully aware:

  1. Love arouses anxiety and makes us feel vulnerable.
  2. It brings up sadness and painful feelings from the past (i.e. a love we didn’t feel as children).
  3. Love often provokes a painful identity crisis, as we’re seen in a new, more positive light.
  4. It disconnects people from a “fantasy bond” with their parents or early caretakers.
  5. It arouses guilt in relation to surpassing a parent or caretaker.
  6. Love stirs up painful existential issues and fears around loss.

Are You Falling Out of Love or Falling Out of Fantasy?

Many of us aren’t consciously aware of the ways they may be afraid of love. We may see the real problem in the relationship as being the ways it’s changed. We may list all the issues our partner has, the way he no longer looks at us or she no longer treats us.  Or, we may notice our own behavior changing, and chalk that up to no longer feeling the same way toward our partner. However, the real question to ask is why did these dynamics shift in the first place? The answer to that often has to do with fear and fantasy.

When we describe the spark fading in our relationships, we’re not usually aware of a process we’re engaging in that is literally dousing the flames. A “fantasy bond” is a concept developed by Dr. Robert Firestone, which describes how couples forego real love for a fantasy of connection. “Most people have a fear of intimacy and at the same time are terrified of being alone,” said Firestone. “Their solution is to form a fantasy bond – an illusion of connection and closeness – that allows them to maintain emotional distance while assuaging loneliness.”

A fantasy bond is created when a couple replaces the substance of real relating with the form of being a couple. They start to overstep each other’s boundaries, relating as a “we” instead of a “you” and “me.” They fall into routine and start to do things out of habit or expectation as opposed to real passion or interest. They may try to control each other, showing less respect for each other’s autonomy and independence. This type of relating naturally diminishes attraction, and there is usually less physical and personal relating.  Ultimately, engaging in these patterns can drive a couple further and further not only from each other, but from themselves and their loving feelings. When we consider why we’re falling out of love, it’s helpful to look at how much we may have fallen into a fantasy bond with our partner.

Learn more about the Fantasy Bond here

Signs That You’re Falling out of Love

When a relationship becomes less vital, there are often a lot of elements at play.  Dr. John Gottman, one of the leading researchers on relationships, has spent 25 years observing couples’ interactions.  He lists the four most toxic behaviors between couples, what he calls the “four horsemen,” as the following:

  1. Criticism: Are you blaming or attacking your partner?
  2. Defensiveness: Are you closed off to feedback from your partner?
  3. Contempt: Are you rolling your eyes, mocking or pushing your partner away?
  4. Stonewalling: Are you shut down in your interactions with your partner? Is your underlying tone and body language standoffish or withdrawn?

When we first fall in love, we tend treat our parter with a level of respect and kindness that connects to our own loving feelings. But love isn’t just a feeling that comes and goes; it comes from this way of treating each other.  We should always try to think of love as a verb. It requires real action to exist and thrive.  When we engage in destructive behaviors, we do ourselves and our partner a disservice by limiting expressions/feelings of affection. We all act in ways we don’t like from time to time, but it’s always beneficial to consider if any of the four horsemen have marched their way into any part of our relationship.

It’s also helpful to consider the following questions set forth by Dr. Lisa Firestone to help evaluate the situation and determine whether the relationship itself is not working.

  1. Is my relationship negatively affecting other areas of my life?
  2. Do I feel upset and fragmented a lot of the time?
  3. Am I too distracted by my relationship to function in healthy ways?
  4. Do I rarely feel like myself anymore?
  5. Am I anxious or desperate toward my relationship partner?
  6. Do I feel like there is something wrong with me that I am frantic to fix?
  7. Has my relationship impacted or hurt my friendships?
  8. Has it affected the way I parent (i.e. I’m distracted from caring for my children or too reliant on them to meet my needs?)
  9. Do I feel chronically ashamed of myself?
  10. Do I feel down or hopeless about my life most of the time?

If any relationship is causing us this type of distress, we may very well decide it isn’t right for us. We can end the relationship or seek counseling that may help us make sense of what’s going on.

Can You Stop Yourself from Falling Out of Love?

Every relationship will face challenges, because no person is perfect. If we’ve fallen into some destructive patterns or our relationship has some characteristics of a fantasy bond, we shouldn’t despair. These problems exist along a continuum. It’s truly possible to take a turn toward getting back the love you once shared with another person. The short answer to the question of whether we can stop ourselves from falling out of love is yes. Staying in love is possible, but like most good things in life, it usually takes some effort.

A neurological study from Stony Brook University led by Bianca P. Acevedo and Arthur Aron revealed similar brain activity between couples who had just fallen in love and couples who’d been together as long as 20-plus years. These long-term couples experienced what researchers called “romantic love,” which is characterized by “intensity, engagement and sexual interest.” This form of love is linked to marital satisfaction, well-being, high self-esteem, and relationship longevity. When couples maintain intensity, engagement, and physical connection, they can keep their brains firing and enliven their loving feelings for each other for decades. This led Dr. Acevedo to conclude, “Couples who’ve been together a long time and wish to get back their romantic edge should know it is an attainable goal that, like most good things in life, requires energy and devotion.”

This brings us back to the idea that love is a verb. Connecting to our own loving feelings often involves taking action. Erich Fromm once wrote, “There is only one proof for the presence of love: the depth of the relationship, and the aliveness and strength in each person concerned; this is the fruit by which love is recognized.” It’s also Fromm who famously said that love, “isn’t a feeling, it is a practice.” Before we decide we’ve fallen out of love, we may want to think about all the actions we can take to check in with our own loving feelings. Can we commit to coming fully alive in ourselves before calling time of death on our relationship?

“Love involves behaviors. It is a skill,” said Dr. Lisa Firestone. “When we choose each day to treat another person with gentleness, affection, kindness, and respect, we cultivate and grow our own ability to love.” After years of researching relationships, Drs. Robert and Lisa Firestone developed the Couples Interactions Chart to distinguish characteristics of an ideal, loving, romantic relationship and a fantasy bond. They found these qualities were most important to maintaining lasting love.

  • Non-defensiveness and openness Vs getting angry and closed off. This is the opposite of stonewalling. We have to welcome feedback. Open communication with our partner allows us to really know each other and address issues that hurt the relationship.
  • Honesty Vs deception. We have to be able to trust each other to feel completely vulnerable.
  • Respect for independence Vs overstepping boundaries. Dr. Lisa Firestone says in a relationship, we should try to expend each other’s worlds, not shrink them. That means supporting each other’s interests and independence. Allow each other to express ourselves fully as who we are.
  • Physical affection and personal sexualityVs lack of affection and routine sexuality. In a recent survey published in the Journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science, nearly half of the participants reported being “very intensely in love” after years of being together. The top reason given for maintaining these feelings long-term was the presence of physically affectionate behaviors like hugging and kissing. This is consistent with Dr. Acevedo’s research emphasizing the importance of a physical connection in lasting romantic love.
  • UnderstandingVs misunderstanding. In order to love someone, we have to see them for who they are. We should try to understand what they’re experiencing.
  • Manipulations of dominance Vs Non-controlling behaviors. We have to strive for an equal and respectful relationship. Neither person should try to control the other or deny each other opportunities to be themselves.

Before we decide to give up on love or relationships, it’s valuable to reflect on the defenses we bring to the table and the dynamics that may be limiting our capacity to love. This is a process that can alter the course of our lives. We must know ourselves in order to truly fall in love with someone else. Only when we realize who we are can we fully know what we want. We can use the experience of falling in or out of love as an opportunity to know ourselves better, to understand our tendencies, our fears, and our patterns. We can recognize the behaviors we fall into that may create distance in our relationships. And, we can meet the challenge of changing these behaviors with self-compassion.

Whatever lessons we learn, we can carry into any relationship. So when it’s the right one, we’ll have the tools to fight for the love we want for the long-haul.

About the Author

Carolyn Joyce Carolyn Joyce joined PsychAlive in 2009, after receiving her M.A. in journalism from the University of Southern California. Her interest in psychology led her to pursue writing in the field of mental health education and awareness. Carolyn's training in multimedia reporting has helped support and expand PsychAlive's efforts to provide free articles, videos, podcasts, and Webinars to the public. She now works as an editor for PsychAlive and a communications specialist at The Glendon Association, the non-profit mental health research organization that produced PsychAlive.

Tags: fantasy bond, fantasy love, fear of intimacy, intimacy, intimacy problems, love, making love last, relationship advice, relationship issues, relationship problems, relationships

Hi everybody! Please, take a look at these two phrases: I have to admit it: I've fallen in love with the Russian language - I have to admit it: I fell.

I've fallen in love with / I fell in love with

ive fallen in love

I've fallen in love with you
Please, tell me, tell me what else was there to do
When feelin lips like yours and looking into eyes like yours
Oh, I might as well face it
Cause it's true
Yes, I've fallen in love with you

Oh, my beating heart wants you
And my empty arms need you
Don't you go, please stay
And never try to send me away

I've fallen in love with you (ooh baby, please stay)
I've fallen in love with you

I've fallen in love with you
And you've just got to feel the same way too
When you embraced me last night
Lord knows it was pure, such pure delight

Oh, my beating heart wants you
And my empty arms need you
Don't you go, please stay
And never try to send me away

Oh yes, my love
Oh yes, my love
My darlin
I've fallen in love with you
I've fallen in love

I've fallen so deep in love you see
Until you become the very soul of me
Let me tell you something,
I don't care enough anyway
All over, hey, all over my face it shows
Said I'm talkin bout love this time
Oh, yes I am
And you know what?
It's not a schoolgirl crush

Oh no, no [x12]

Ooh, baby, yea
Oh my beating heart wants you
And my empty arms need you
Don't you go, please stay
And never try to send me away
My beating heart wants you
And my empty arms need you
Don't you go, please stay
And never try to send me away

I've fallen in love with you (yes, my love)
I've fallen in love with you (in love with you, in love with you)
I've fallen in love with you (it's not infatuation cause I would really know)
I've fallen in love with you
(My beating heart wants you, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know it wants you)
I've fallen in love with you
(I've fallen for you)
I've fallen in love
(I'm falling in love)
I've fallen in love with you
(Tell me, what else was there to do?)
I've fallen in love

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Quote by Anonymous

ive fallen in love

Falling in love with the right person is one of the best feelings in the world. When you finally meet the person that’s your perfect match, your mind, your body, and your spirit are instantaneously flooded with positive emotions.

When you’re with the right person, you’ll feel safe and secure, with a sudden desire to open up and share everything with them. You’ll feel an underlying happiness despite what is going on around you.

The right someone will make you feel like you’re the best thing that ever happened to them and constantly remind you how easy it was for them to fall in love with you.

Best of all, the right relationship will help you experience more out of life and feel hopeful about the future. You’ll look forward to the future, no matter what it may bring, because you know you’re with someone special. And life is best lived with your special person by your side.

Granted, it’s common to find yourself falling in love (or simply lust) with the wrong person. But when you finally fall for the right someone, you realize it was worth the wait no matter how long it took to find them.

The person you love can change you positively and help you make the most out of your Everyday Power. In that respect, here are some beautiful falling in love quotes to make you cherish this special feeling forever.

Falling in love quotes for him and her

1.) “Let us not only fall in love, let us live life as if life is our love affair.”― Debasish Mridha

2.) “I spend most nights at home falling in love with the idea of you.”― Michael Faudet

3.) “When I fall in love, it will be forever.” – Jane Austen

4.) “As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slow, and then all at once.” – John Green

5.) “This thing about you that you think is your flaw – it’s the reason I’m falling in love with you.” – Colleen Hoover

6.) “I’m not just falling in love with you, I’m falling into you. You’re an ocean, and I’m falling in, drowning in the depths of who you are.”—Unknown

7.) “It was the way you laughed, I knew I wanted that in my life.” – R. M. Drake

8.) “All, everything that I understand, I only understand because I love.” — Leo Tolstoy

9.) “You are what I never knew I always wanted.” – Fools Rush In

10.) “Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren’t even there before.” ― Mignon McLaughlin

Falling in love quotes for him

11.) “I don’t know how to say this, or even if it’s true. But I love the way you make me feel, and I think I’m falling for you.” – Nicole Kinder

12.) “Have you ever watched a leaf leave a tree? It falls upward first, and then it drifts toward the ground, just as I find myself drifting towards you.” — Beth Kephart

13.) “I fall into him like one would fall into a dream, ready to submit to your subconscious’s innermost desires and your deepest fears.” — Stephanie Binding

14.) “I fell in love with his unchanging soul.” ― Claudia Gray

15.) “I was so blessed. The first person I gave my heart to was an angel who plucked the feathers off his wings and built a nest for it.” ― Kamand Kojouri

16.) “I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” — Angelita Lim

17.) “A feeling … That we have some history together that hasn’t happened yet.” ― Jennifer Egan

18.) “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” – Jane Austen

19.) “The friendship I have had in my heart for you has ripened into a deeper feeling, a feeling more beautiful, more pure, more sacred. Dare I name it? Ah! It is love which makes me so bold!” — Margaret Mitchell

20.) “Falling in love with you was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” ― Kate Meader

Falling in love quotes for her

21.) “I fell in love with you because there was a mischief in your eyes.”—Michka Assayas

22.) “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” – Tim Allen

23.) “Speak to me: I will spend my lifetime trying to understand you.”― Kamand Kojouri

24.) “I’ve fallen in love many times… but always with you.” – Unknown

25.) “She was made of a magic, that only I could see.”– Atticus

26.) “I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow.” — Leo Christopher

27.) “And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.” ― Stephen Chbosky

28.) “But the you who you are tonight is the same you I was in love with yesterday, the same you I’ll be in love with tomorrow.” ― Gayle Forman

29.) “Meeting you was fate..Becoming your friend was a choice..But falling in love with you I had no control over.” ― Teresa Conroy

30.) “When I saw you I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. When you smiled at me I couldn’t keep my heart from racing. When you looked into my eyes that’s all it took for me to fall in love with you.” – Unknown

Quotes about falling in love unexpectedly

31.) “No one ever fell in love gracefully.”—Connie Brockway

32.) “You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.” – Catherynne M. Valente

33.) “I think falling in love is always a surprise, right?” – Josh Dallas

34.) “The greatest wonderful feeling is falling in love.”—Lailah Gifty Akita

35.) “When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again.” – Albert Einstein 

36.) “You always fall for the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time and sometimes for the most unexpected reason.” – Unknown

37.) “In order to be happy oneself it is necessary to make at least one other person happy.” — Theodor Reik

38.) “The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.” — Woody Allen

39.) “Falling in love is not an extension of one’s limits or boundaries; it is a partial and temporary collapse of them.” – M Scott Peck

40.) “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.” ― Sarah Dessen

Other beautiful falling in love quotes

41.) “To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything.” — T. Tolis

42.) “A proof that experience is of no use, is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another. – Paul Bourget

43.) “We never get enough of falling in love and believing in love.”—Shemar Moore

44.) “There’s no substitute for a great love who says, ‘No matter what’s wrong with you, you’re welcome at this table.'” — Tom Hanks

45.) “I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”— John Green

46.) “Don’t find love, let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love because you don’t force yourself to fall, you just fall.” – Unknown

47.) “Falling in love is sudden, easy, and fun. It’s like a child going down a playground slide.” ― Jayden Hunter

48.) “Falling in love is easy. Falling in love with the same person repeatedly is extraordinary. — Crystal Woods

49.) “Isn’t that how falling in love so often works? Some stranger appears out of nowhere and becomes a fixed star in your universe.” — Kate Bolick

50.) “People usually fall in love. But some people were born in love. Already. And always.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Which of these falling in love quotes was your favorite?

Falling in love brings a unique sense of immense joy and happiness. When you fall in love with that special someone, it’s the best feeling in the entire world. It’s something you hold dear to your heart and a memory that lasts a lifetime.

Love allows us to develop our identities and to observe the world from a more exalted perspective. Hopefully, these quotes have inspired you to express how you feel for your significant other.

Did you enjoy these falling in love quotes? Which of the quotes was your favorite? Tell us in the comment section below. We would love to hear all about it.

In fact, scientists have pinned down exactly what it means to "fall in love." Researchers have found that an in-love brain looks very different from.

So I’ve Fallen in Love with Myself; Now What?

ive fallen in love

Falling in love with someone is a truly beautiful experience…

It’s also terrifying, exhilarating, nauseating, and generally a veritable rollercoaster of emotion that’s wonderful and hideous at turns.

If you’re fortunate enough to have met someone special and think you’re falling in love with them, you’ll likely experience the following.

In fact, pretty much everyone who has ever fallen for another has gone through these stages, so you can be certain that most of the people in your life can relate to what you’re going through.

Hell, most films and TV series have drawn from these steps when portraying realistic relationships, because people can relate to them.

Think you might be falling in love? Here’s what to expect:

Stage One: Realization That You’re Interested In This Person As More Than A Friend

This often strikes out of nowhere and leaves you with your jaw hanging somewhere around Antarctica.

One minute you’re sharing lunch with a colleague, and the next minute, your takeout pad thai is getting cold because you’re enraptured by the way their nose bobs up and down when they chew.

Then it hits you: holy hells, you like this person.

A lot.

After this realization hits, it doesn’t take long before some kind of a date is arranged, whether it’s drinks after work, or a movie, or a shared meal… without the guy who sits next to you at work and eats Cheetos all day tagging along.

Stage Two: Preoccupation

The person you’re falling for is constantly in your thoughts.

You overfill your coffee cup because you’re thinking about them, your eyes glaze over in class or during a meeting at work because you’re trying to determine your next step.

You miss a deadline because you were thinking about how they looked the last time you saw them, instead of being able to focus on your tasks.

Seriously, they fill your every waking thought, and might even keep you from proper sleep at night.

Stage Three: Idolization

Everything they do is just so cute, isn’t it? Yeaaaah. It is. It REALLY is.

Also known as “the smittening,” this stage turns you into a quibbling mess of heartsick jelly that’s just oozing with delight about everything your partner does.

You may fall for their fondness for huge, messy sandwiches that they get all over themselves when they eat, or find the way they snore at night to be completely adorable.

You’re peeling back onion layers and getting to know this person better, and pretty much every single thing they do is the most endearing thing in the whole entire world.

They can do no wrong, they’re amazing, and you want to just sew yourselves together so you never, ever need to be apart ever again ever.

Maybe less of the sewing part, but still. ADORBS.

Stage Four: Awkwardness And Insecurity

This is where you’re getting seriously involved with the person, but you’re still uncertain about exactly how they feel about you because you’re too nervous to discuss it, so you’re awkward and flustered and you worry about what you say (BREATHE) and think that they probably believe you’re a complete idiot and did they notice that you forgot your deodorant today omg you better not hug them too closely (BREATHE) but if you don’t hug them then they might think you don’t really like them as much as you do but you don’t want them to think you smell and and and (PANICKED BREATHING)…

^ Like that.

At this point, you’ll obsess about everything from whether you waited too long to send a text reply to if you ordered something too snooty the last time you went out to eat.

You’re walking on imaginary eggshells, thinking that they have you and your behaviors under a microscope.

They don’t.

They’re likely just as insecure as you are, and you’re both doing the emotional equivalent of running around like panicked emus while desperately trying to keep it cool on the outside.

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Stage Five: Increased Intimacy

You may have already slept together several times, but it takes a while to be truly comfortable with a person.

The more time you spend together, the more intimate you can really become: protective walls are dropped, you let each other get a bit closer, maybe share stories about your past.

You might even find yourself in a situation where you’re helping one another through a difficult time, like a family issue, a health problem, or a difficult time with work.

Either way, there are new levels of closeness being discovered, and you’re getting a strong sense of who you both really are, beneath the masks we all wear on a day-to-day basis.

Stage Six: Exhilaration

Everything in the world is so amazing. Life is beautiful. Hello sky! When you did you become so blue?

When you hit this point, you’re generally so blissed out that you aren’t even walking on solid ground anymore: you’re pretty much floating above it.

In fact, this very concept was encapsulated in the film My Fair Lady. When dudebro was completely smitten with Miss Whatsername, he sang:

I have often walked down this street before, but the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before… all at once am I several stories high, knowing I’m on the street where you live.

Kind of adorable, huh? Also very cheesy in a 1960s musical kind of way, and most of us have only seen it when dealing with really bad fevers around 3 am when nothing else is on TV, but that’s okay!

It just illustrates perfectly the kind of giddy fervor we experience when all the feel-good lovey hormones are bouncing around inside us.

Stage Seven: The Freak Out

Internal dialogue: “Omg omg this is getting really intense and I don’t know wtf to do with it”.

Normally at this point, it becomes abundantly clear that this… this is REAL. This is a maelstrom of really powerful emotions for a person, and that is HUGE.

This person is really special to you, and you want them to play a significant role in your life, and you’d be really, really upset if you lost them.

Those feelings can make people really scared and vulnerable, and often causes them to retreat a little bit in order to sort out how they feel about the whole thing.

This retreat can cause upheaval in the blossoming relationship, especially if the parties aren’t being really open and honest about what they’re experiencing.

Sometimes there will be a get close/withdraw back and forth dance for a while, which is especially daunting if both people are doing it.

Stage Eight: Jealousy And Possessiveness

Both of these ugly little gremlins rear their heads during the closeness/retreat phase, and can manifest in a number of different ways.

You may not yet know what kind of a relationship you want with the person, but you sure as hell want to make sure no-one else edges in while you’re thrashing around in indecision!

Fear of rejection or loss can make you act like a complete imbecile right about now.

You might be scouring your partner’s social media accounts to try to find clues that they’re interested in other people, or checking their phone when they’re in the bathroom, or any other number of things that make you a giant asshole.

We get it, you’re scared, but don’t be a d*ck.

Don’t assume: ask.

Then ask more. And talk more.

Stage Nine: Do, Or Do Not

This is the stage at which you either find yourself wanting to cement “whatever this is” into a relationship, or finally run screaming because you’re overwhelmed by your own emotions.

If you love this person and want to cultivate something authentic with them, be brave and take the leap.

Stage Ten: Union

If you’ve managed to get through step nine without fleeing in abject terror, chances are you and your partner have had a good talk and decided to make a go of a relationship.

This is awesome.

A sincere partnership with someone you care about really is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling things a person can experience in a lifetime, and love – real love – is the most powerful force on the planet.

It may help to speak to someone about how you are feeling so that you can be sure it’s love and not something else. Why not chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero for some one-to-one advice? Simply click here to chat.

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WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: The Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)

I've fallen in love many times always with you. • Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. • One does not fall "in" or "out" of love. One grows in.

ive fallen in love
Written by Vugor
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